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Photo FinishedI walked purposely towards the front door of the police station, wanting to get things done as quickly as possible.
A few days ago, I was out taking pictures when a mixed-gender group of five masked gang-bangers tried to jump me. I didn't spend eight years in the Army just to have someone take me down on the streets of my own home town, so I gave far better than what I got. The three men who attacked me directly went down as hard as I could send them down, but their girlfriends got my main digital camera and ran for it before I could catch up with them. As a professional photographer, I live and die by my cameras.
To that end, I made sure that both the police and the public knew I wanted my camera back, and even went so far as to offer up a couple hundred bucks' reward for its return. The camera itself I could replace, mind you, but I'd just taken a batch of photos when I got jumped; I needed that memory card back more than anything else.
I'd just gotten a phone call from the police in
Change of PlansLet's see.
That's half of this month's homework assignments down.
Just a couple more, and except for that group project I'm done. Wow but they're taking their time getting back to me.
*looks at room*
Wow this place is a mess. Maybe once I get done with my homework I can spend some time cleaning in here.
"We got sick of the channels all coming up garbled, so we called the cable company. They'll be sending a guy by on Tuesday, so you need to have that fifth of your room completely cleared out so that he can get to the wall jack in case he needs to check it."
There goes getting the rest of those assignments done any time soon.
I still have half a bag of Sweedish Fish in here?
What Christmas Isn'tI'm wishing now for peace on Earth
while playing violent games.
Today's the day of Jesus' birth
but somehow it feels the same.
I'm doing this to stay awake
though Santa left long ago.
The cat has medicines to take
and one more dose to go.
It's 1 AM from where I sit
Church will start at 9.
That old grey suit never did fit
but I pretend I'm looking fine.
The lights were strung on Christmas Eve
Our tree's four inches tall.
But it's just a temporary reprieve
Before we hit the mall.
It's been a while since I enjoyed
a quiet Christmas morn.
It's because real life's employed
many tricks to keep me worn.
But is Christmas in the tree park
or the giant blinking lights?
Or what about within the dark
wherein there is no light?
We ourselves may not have peace
but that is still no reason
to let misery fall as it would please
upon the world this season.
Although we might feel alone at Yule
others will still try
To follow now the Golden Rule
and look towards the sky.
To them this holiday belongs.
Pants$10 coupon for Sears.
I need new pants.
Oh - jeans are on sale?
42 * 32, half off.
*tries it on*
Forgot that jeans aren't as forgiving as slacks.
Put this pair back.
Let's try 44 * 32.
44 * 30. Close.
46 * 32. Also close.
*checks the entire jean section*
*notes that 44 * 32 is the only combination seemingly not represented*
Let's try the slacks. Those are on sale, too.
One tan pair in 44 * 32.
One brown pair in 22 * 32.
Let's try these on.
I feel sorry for the man whose inseam this pair was cut to fit.
Wait... why won't the button go in the hole?
The hole is too frikkin' small! Someone at the factory cut the hole too small.
It's Mocking MeThanksgiving holiday.
Time to dodge the in-laws.
Maybe I'll hole up in my bedroom and watch DVDs; get them vetted for my Half.com store.
Wait - where's the remote for the TV? I need it to switch the data feed sources.
Never mind; I've got a travel DVD player tucked away somewhere.
"May take 4 - 5 hours for full charge."
There goes watching anything today.
Now, let's try this movie.
"No valid DVD."
[opens up player, re-places disk in machine]
[menu keys incompatible with actual menu on DVD]
Let's try this one.
Let's try a few CDs.
[all CDs skip due to not having been polished before-hand]
OK. Back to DVDs. This one.
[DVD actually works]
Wow - that's a lot of cursing. There are little kids in the living room.
Let's try this one instead.
[screen fades out 10 minutes in; the batteries are almost dead[
Let's try this DVD here.
[DVD initially fails to load]
[retry brings up menu screen]
[menu buttons incomp
Cat FightWhy My Research Papers Are Taking So Long
OK guys. I've got two research papers due by the middle of next month. I need to focus on them.
Bit, why are you teasing Mama Kitty? Leave her alone; she's sick.
Bit, I said leave her alone.
That's enough, Bit.
KNOCK IT OFF!
Get out of the chair, Harriet. I need to sit there.
Here; let me move you into your box.
Bit, I thought I just told you to leave Mama Kitty alone.
Do you need to go out, Rusty? Come on, then.
Harriet, stay out of my chair. I've got to get my paperwork done.
Now who could be calling?
Bit, leave Mama Kitty alone. Quit teasing her.
Harriet. Get. Out. Of. My. Chair.
repeat all evening
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More