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Poetic Aside 2I deliver your newspaper.
I do it twice a week.
It's because of this I have concerns
that to you I now must speak.
Please keep your pets secure at night;
your kitties in your dens;
your puppy dogs within your bed;
your cattle in their pens.
It's bad enough I'm dodging trains
in or'r to pay my bills.
I do believe that I'd prefer
no cows in my front grill.
We use skewers for shish-kabob
and not hood ornaments.
And so now I pray you see
my current predicament.
So please keep Fluffy in the house tonight
and Fido by your side.
And Bessie locked up in the barn
or else she'll take a ride.
Poetic Aside 1When I was but a little tot
I went hiking with my Cub Scout troop.
The day was oh so very hot
and all of us were pooped.
But that was not the worst, I fear
for the day was rather jivey.
It seemed that our camp counselor dear
had hiked us straight through poison ivy.
Reply: "What About Mormonism?"Response to "What About Mormonism?"
By Darren Blair
"What About Mormonism?"
A. L. Barry
President, The Lutheran Church Missouri Synod]
As a Mormon living in a Bible Belt town, I try not to make waves. Although I make a defense of the church if the need arises, I generally try to coexist with those of different faiths. I even make it a point to try and support the different fund-raisers that they might have in place, thereby hoping that we can all help one another out.
Sadly, there are times where I have found myself disappointed by the results.
Twice a year, one of the local Lutheran churches holds a garage sale in its activity building to help sponsor its activities; items are donated by the members of the congregation. They aren't the only church in town which does so, and I generally succeed in visiting them all. Although I usually find some reasonable bargains, I also tend to find a quantity of religiously hostile literature, much of it less-tha
Top 10: Time for a new church10. The church's most recent effort to pass the plate ended with the minister dumping it all into his pockets.
9. A court order has been issued to prevent your church choir from ever performing before the general public.
8. It's not really "Bingo Night" until someone's thrown the first punch.
7. Your youth minister's last "outreach" attempt ended with him in a full body cast.
6. The baptismal font doubles as a jacuzzi.
5. The in-house praise band has made more than five appearances on "Headbanger's Ball."
4. The Department of Health has ordered a permanent closure to your church's kitchen.
3. Your church's head deacon was last spotted on the FBI's "Ten Most Wanted" list.
2. That last cub scout outing has resulted in your little ones knowing more obscene jodie calls than you do.
1. Your last "speaking in tongues" session inadvertently resulted in the summoning of an Elder God.
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